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  • e40543
    Posted 04 Oct, 2018, 11:57
    E40543 Hi, so my boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 10 months now, he's 15 turning 16 and I've just recently turned 16. I'm not entirely sure how this forum works, but I really need help because I'm afraid that I may lose him. As we both have part-time jobs and are flustered by school work, it does get stressful and it is hard to find a time to go out with each other. We do attend the same school and have classes together, however, we don't get the chance to hang out much then because our friends always drag us away from each other. He gets upset by this because we do only go out every couple of weeks or so, and even during the holidays, we're only able to find time 3 or 4 times. I mean its fair for him to get upset, but at the same time its also important that we find time to hang out with our friends as well, yet in saying so at times I do believe neither of our friends respect our relationship because they tend to speak poorly of one of us while the other one is present. Anyways, because of the stress of not being able to go out I guess in a way it takes a toll on our relationship, because we see that our friends in relationships have so much more 'freedom' as they are able to go out constantly and seem to have little-to-no restrictions with what they're able to do. I come from a broken home, so I can't exactly invite him over as there's constant argument so I don't want to put him through the stress of home that I go through. I do get the chance to go to his house, and his family are so lovely, and supportive as they understand my home life and are always willing to help me. Anyways, I feel as if we often get quite jealous over other relationships, as we haven't had the chance to sleep over since his mum is afraid of me getting pregnant, yet he is fully aware that I am wanting to wait until marriage so that won't be happening. But I mean I guess what I'm saying is the fact that we can't do things that we see others doing, hurts both him and me. Whenever we go on dates we tend to do the same thing over and over again, get lunch, see a movie, spend time at his house, have dinner with his family, I go home, so it can get boring, and he feels the same. We both want to do go out on different dates and plan new things with each other, but something inconvenient tends to occur so we have to resort to the same thing. We planned to go bowling, I broke my wrist in soccer, we wanted to go mini golfing, I caught the flu and wasn't able to go out for two weeks, we wanted to go ice skating, he had an incident cycling and injured his leg, etc. As we're both only young we don't know how to keep things working when they get tough, as this is both of our first relationships. We do have fun with each other, and we do love each other, but doing the same thing over and over again gets boring which means at times we both feel as if we're losing our connection. In saying so, we only feel this when we just repeat the same date, when it's just me and him at his house doing homework together, or just mucking around watching movies together it feels almost like magic and we love every moment about it. I love him I really do, but I'm just so scared that because of all of this stress from not being able to go out much, and the repition of the same date that we're going to lose eachother because we aren't too sure what to do. Please help!!
  • Libra Girl Expert
    LIBRA GIRL EXPERT
    Hi there @40543, you've posted your question twice (I do that a lot!!) so I'll just answer this one as they look to be the same. It sounds like you two have a great relationship, but there are clearly a few issues. The first one that jumps out at me is your friends. You say they drag you away from each other and also don't respect your relationship. That may be, but I think it's up to you two to prioritise each other. The fact that you allow yourselves to be shuffled off by your friends just reinforces to them that it's okay - so maybe make it clear that it's not and that should resolve that issue. The next issue is the time you spend together. The main part of this should be enjoying each others company which it seems you do - but you've obviously keen to share more experiences. It sounds like you've given this some good thought and had ideas - so that's great. Just know it doesn't always have to cost much money - play a board game, go to the local pool, pack a picnic in a backpack and ride your bikes somewhere, look up self-guided walks in your area and discover all sorts of things you didn't know - together! Overall, I think your relationship sounds great and your jealousy of other relationships will be overcome if you both decide to prioritise each other. Good luck! LGx
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